Recognizing and Understanding Your Status In Any Relationship
Over the past couple of month’s I have been working on outlining an empowerment series for women, men and couples entitled Empower Your Mindset. During this time, I’ve had the opportunity to work through issues regarding relationships with clients, friends and total strangers. In each occasion where we’ve discussed inequity in the relationship I found that at the core or crux of the underlying issue is a two-prong common theme—the feeling of disrespect and powerlessness at the hand of the other person in the relationship.
Now whether or not their observation is factual or not, is irrelevant simply because their belief or perception of what is going on in the relationship, is their reality. And their reality is what causes them to act or react in a relationship. One of the things I always ask each individual to clarify in our discussion is to explain using “emotions” (like angry, sad, disrespect, powerless, or unhappy) how they felt when whatever situation transpired between them and the other person in their friendship, marriage, work relationship or even customer service encounter, that led to their discontent. Our next topic of discussion is how they show up in the relationship or encounter? See it is important to understand that the person with the least amount to lose in a relationship more often than not controls the situation. Or so they believe! The other person is banking on the thought that you will respond the way they want you to, because they either have the upper-hand, power, control or authority of you. They also belief that you will go along with what they want because YOU need THEM more than they need you!
This is why you have to recognize and understand your status in any relationship. Are your allowing the other person to exhibit control over your or are you working together to show mutual respect and consideration for each other? If it is not the latter in the aforementioned sentence then you have to ask yourself, how do I want to show up in and represent myself in this relationship or situation? You can choose not to give away your power and ensure your voice is heard when dealing with others. You can also learn to shift energy and power in every situation simply by choosing to show up positive and not allow others control your presence. The other thing you will need to be responsible for is your decision to either accept or reject the other person’s position in your relationship. If you accept their terms you may lose your voice and ability to show up represented by the best version of you. I you reject it and decide to shift the energy of the connection to something that is more in line with your spirit and values you remain empowered.